Like, the worst I've ever seen, and I did not handle it well.

He is 3, he's always been really well behaved. He's always kind of more excitable when he comes back from being with his dad, although I can't tell if it's that or a combination of that and peers and just his age. He's been having a lot of issues listening and focusing lately, so I've been trying to set some boundaries around it.

Every night, with me, we have story time and he has a bit of milk. Tonight he asked for a snack right before bedtime so I gave him a tiny bit of Goldfish and told him that if he had a snack, he couldn't have milk. I told him a few times and made sure he agreed.

So, of course, off to bed and he wants milk, and I pushed back. He started being a shit about it "I WANT milk"—like cliched shit toddler behavior. And I kept saying no, because at that point I didn't want to reward him for being an asshole. I tried to get him to lay down in bed, he was just flinging himself all over (he's NEVER done that) so I was finally like....fuck it, turned off the light, walked out and slammed the door. And, of course, burst into tears.

HE TOTALLY LOST HIS SHIT, like in a bad, I am the worst parent in the world way. It was like he thought I had left forever or something. I thought he was going to hyperventilate. I got him some milk and then held him and sang and rocked him to sleep.

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So, clearly what I did wrong (aside from reacting super badly) was think I could upset his routine. And I see that now. But while I was in it.....blech. I want to just go to sleep but I have a creative tomorrow that I have to prepare for :-(

I just had to vent. I generally feel like a pretty good parent but I failed miserably tonight.