was an epic fail. I mean just a shit show from start to finish. The highlights:

Went for preadmission testing at 8 am. Can't pee. Drink a gallon of water while the other stuff is being done. My blood pressure was sky high, 190/110. They took it a bunch of times, several people took it, etc. I've never had a problem with high blood pressure before, except for the very occasional issue if I've really been rushing or stressed, but after I sit at the doctor's for a bit it always is normal. I was just AT my gp's office 3 weeks ago!

So they go through all of the bloodwork and the nurse talks to me a bunch then the nurse practitioner examines me and they're all like "if you weren't already scheduled to see the cardiologist, we'd send you to the ER." They pretty much think I'm about to stroke out. So I'm not feeling so happy at that point.

I still am not sure I can pee enough for the sample, so I take the empty cup with me to the cardiologist across the street to bring back later. I get there and the office is filled with 20 old people arguing with each other and loudly narrating Let's Make A Deal. The approximate temperature is 95° and the doctor is running like an hour behind. I'd rather be in a room with 20 screaming toddlers than a bunch of old people. The brain trusts behind me, both of whom are on Medicare and one who is also on Medicaid, are quoting Bill O'Reilly about Obamacare. If my blood pressure wasn't already elevated, it would have been at this point. At least I finally had to pee, so I took care of that.

After an hour I finally get called back. A tech does an EKG and the cardiologist comes in. It's abnormal, indicative of something called left ventricular hypertrophy (enlargement of the left ventricle wall) and there's even something on there that says "possible infarct," a/k/a might have had a heart attack in the past. WHAT THE WHAT. The cardiologist says the LVH is most commonly caused by untreated high blood pressure, but untreated over many years, and I go to my doctor regularly! Are they all just incompetent using the blood pressure cuff?? I have to go back Tuesday for an echocardiogram and next Thursday for a stress test, and in the meantime I have to start taking blood pressure medication, which is starting to make me feel kind of woozy.

So I come home, I'm freaking out internally but I can't talk about it with my son, of course, or HE'LL freak out (and his girlfriend broke up with him AGAIN last night so he's not exactly happy.) I've got a shit ton of WAY overdue paperwork to do, but I'm kind of fucked up at this point. So I go about the normal evening, the boys and I eat, I help the younger with his homework, and take him to karate.

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And on the way home, just when I think the day can't get any worse? I discovered the urine sample in my fucking purse.

So now my emotions are somewhere between this:

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and this: