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My Dear Departed Penelope

I know that I didn’t name you until after your untimely death, but I regret that, my dearest Penelope. You were my faithful and loyal friend, my bosom buddy. You stood by me in my toughest hours. You cradled me when I needed support. But I neglected and abused you and so you left me forever. For this, I have only myself to blame. When I cremate you, I will gather witnesses to our love and document the ceremony for posterity. Because it’s not every day I pop the fucking rebar in my bra.

Let’s have a bra burning, ladies!

PS Frack. Now I have to try to buy an H cup bra in person while unemployed. This is gonna suck.


ETA: Adding a picture of the dissected underwire with standard credit card sized object for size comparison. It's 3-4mm wide.

Illustration for article titled My Dear Departed Penelope

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