I do quite a bit of work when it comes to the Women in Tech movement. I hold free classes and seminars. I organize events. I run booths. I mentor. I take time to help women who are just getting started. I lend a shoulder to any woman having problems, including women I’ve never met, but who were sent my way.

The past year, it’s been wearing on me. It feels thankless. I’m constantly made to feel like what I do isn’t enough. They need more events, more classes, more locations, more of my time, and they need it for free. And if I don’t provide it with a smile, I’m not ‘welcoming’ or ‘accommodating.’ Any modicum of progress is tarnished when the immediate reaction is “Okay, so can you chicks, like, stop now?”

After reading this, I realized, yeah, victim blaming is a pretty apt way to put it. Because the onus is on women already in tech to fix it. We have to coach women on how to take abuse and long hours and being second guessed and being told that they can’t act like themselves, while at the same time training them to actually do work.

There are no workshops for dudes where they’re coached on how to not be an asshole.

I’m not even sure that there’s a point to my feels, except I feel like I’m burning out on shouldering a cause that, as the article says, is our problem, but not our fault.