We got a new mailman about 2 months ago, and he sucks.

He leaves packages in the worst places. Doesn’t ring the doorbell. Blocks driveways. Parks so close to the back of cars that the driver can’t pull out of their spot because there isn’t enough room. Parks in front of peoples yards while talking incredibly loudly on speaker phone about inappropriate topics like his friend fucking around on his girlfriend and getting some girl pregnant. And worst of all, he drops packages over the fence.

I was sitting in my living room when I heard him pull up. We have security cameras around the house, so I was able to see that it was him. Usually I would go out to get the package, but I didn’t want Cosmo to go crazy so I decided to wait. Big mistake. I see this guy try to open my gate, decide the latch that doesn’t lock was too hard to open (it’s not), and just drop the package over the fence. It landed with a loud thump, and he didn’t even bother to check it. When I got the package I noticed the box was damaged, and sure enough the eagle flag topper my dad ordered had its wing broken. I’m so annoyed.