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My Mother

Is the actual worst (TW: talk of depression anxiety, and the occasional suicidal thought)

She has got to be, by far, the most negative person I have ever met in my short life, and I am the person with the clinical depression and anxiety. She is like an emotional vampire. She loves to come home from her job, and tell me all about how much it sucks, about how annoying her coworkers are, about how much the clients suck, how I am this close to becoming one of them (her clients are without work, homeless, and the like). For years now, I have had the following thought, all be it intermittently: "every moment spent with you is a moment I lose the will/desire to be alive."


And I can't leave, because I am the person responsible for keeping her alive (reminding her to take her insulin, telling her not to arbitrarily change the dosage, having to call 911 when she inevitably does, and finds herself on the cusp of a diabetic coma, etc.).

She makes me miss college (which I went to 400+ miles away).

Kill me.

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