Some of you might recall that my mom has been timidly dipping her toes into the pool of feminism, after a lifetime of being deeply suspicious of "those radical feminists."
However, she continues to make leaps and bounds! That are inadvertently hilarious!
Mom: Has anyone seen my car keys?
[Brother MacNasty and I shake our heads]
Mom: [SIGH] Well, they have to be around here somewhere...
Dad: [wandering into the room] Oh, your keys? I have them. Why didn't you just ask your husband? [laughs goofily]
Mom: [Spins on heel and glares] BECAUSE I AM NOT BEHOLDEN TO THE GODDAMN PATRIARCHY, MR. MAN.
Dad: [confused by the word 'patriarchy', pauses for a moment, then...] Who?
Later, Dad was watching his soaps (he's a sucker for the Young and the Restless) and this exchange happened:
Me: Are they [couple on screen] boning?
Dad: [without missing a beat] No, but they were boning. Boned. Past tense.