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My neighborhood in the headlines for all the wrong reasons

TL;DR: Dude walks around in broad daylight every couple of days smearing shit on random cars and houses. Caught on camera several times, but never in person. Supposedly, there was a person putting watermelon (?) and oil on cars over the past few years, and neighbors speculate this is the same guy.

I haven’t seen it on my street, and I’m lucky I get to stash my car in a garage, but we have to street-park our other car. If I catch this clown touching my Subaru, or even our crappy old Toyota, he’s going to get a steel-toe Doc Marten in the goddamn dick.

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