Seriously y’all Anthony Ervin is my new Rio faux boyfriend.

I mean he’s got dimples and a sexy smile and cute eyes. He’s also 35 with some gorgeous tattoo sleeves. And super-talented. Did I mention good-looking? And a little older than me so not me creeping on some 20something?

(Coulda been Ryan Lochte except for that odd Rutger Hauer in Bladerunner hair.)

Hey Anthony, I’m single and ready to mingle in Missouri if you get lost coming back from the Olympics next week ;)