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My Phone Conversation with a PUA

As I may have mentioned before my boyfriend's oldest friend is a magician. He is also a shit-disturber, and a PUA. Which obviously go hand in hand.

I really don't mind him. Sometimes he is funny, and interesting and other times WomBear and I just lock eyes and do a mental eye roll together. At the very worst when he goes home my boyfriend and I have a renewed appreciation for each other. Underneath everything I really do think he is a nice, albeit reckless and self-conscious, person who needs to be challenged more but creates a reinforcing friend group who will never call him on his abundant bull shit.

Well last night my ire got a new target! Magician's 19 year old PUA friend "Pete" who supposedly dropped out of high school to focus on "banging chicks" 24/7. Obviously he can't be that great because this is his raison d'etre and he is only at 100 women in three years. That's not even that many when you break it down.
Magician was calling him up and asking him to hang out after we were done with Halo, while over his shoulder WomBear and I were shaking our heads.
Then without warning Magician shoved the phone into my hands, on speaker, and said, "Here, talk to this girl."


I chortled, but went with it.
Me: Hey, how's it going?
Pete: Good. I want to go out tonight but my time is valuable, so I want to be sure I'll see titties.
Me: How valuable?
Pete: Huh?
Me: You said your time was valuable. How valuable?
Pete: Oh, it's worth a lot. You know, my time is important.
Me: Well, yes. Everyone's time is important. That's the basis of wage labour.
Pete: ... I like the way you talk. But anyway, I want the fastest way to see tits.
Me: The internet. You're at home, why don't you just look them up?
Pete: I wanna play with them.
Me: That's fair. They are fun to play with. Do you ever play drums on them? That's my favourite. Do you know how to do the drumbeat from One by Metallica?
Pete:... No. But I like some sick Deadmaus beats.
Me: Sorry, I only do Metallica.

It kind of fizzled from there and I was left with a feeling of, "Really? Is that it?"


It was like a fucked up game of the Socratic Method.
This is my first foray into real life pick up culture and I just gotta say, these guys are pretty dumb. But mostly just astounding in their mash-up of evo psych/game/sexual economies quackery.
Have you ladies run across PUAs like this too? How did you deal with them?

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