What ended it, you ask? Punctuation.

Oh, yes indeed. I had just gotten back from a really great visit to Chicago. A day after returning, amid a lot of other mundane texts, I wrote "Goodnight, I love you."

"Uh oh, the comma is back."

"Sorry?"

"You usually would write 'Goodnight. I love you,' the comma makes it seem obligatory."

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OHRLY? It devolved from there, and I was seriously seriously over it. I just stopped. He wouldn't communicate via text or email, I refused to talk to him on the phone. So we literally just stopped talking. That is the incredibly lame and ridiculous and juvenile way this relationship—with someone I've known forever and, honestly, is the love of my life even though he drives me FUCKING INSANE and I know I could never be with—ended.

Ta da! I am here for the funnies.