Welcome To The Bitchery

I don't know if anyone cares about this, but it's a fairly dramatic/interesting story in that omg-I-can't-look-away sort of way. And I know I often enjoy reading other people's dramatic stories. Of course it's sad, too, though.

Saturday was my sister's shower. I arrived in my hometown about 3 hours before the shower, and my mom was in a panic, at the grocery store, buying last-minute things we didn't actually need like flowers and balloons. She burst into tears the minute I saw her. We went to my aunt's house to set up and she took pity on us and gave us alcohol (yay!) I don't even like beer and especially don't like IPA, but I drank mine in probably under 5 minutes. My grandma came before the shower started and she and my mom spent the whole time until people started arriving talking about how terrible my sister is being and how offended my grandma was that she sent out announcements BEFORE the wedding but not invitations. "Oh so we can't go but we can send her gifts!" my grandma said indignantly. I'm like, "I think she just thinks no one will want to go - you probably can go if you want to!" (turns out I was wrong, though!) Then my sister arrives and my grandma is like "Oh shit, she's here, we better stop talking about her!" so she walks in the door to like this awkward silence as everyone tries to pretend like they were talking about something else other than her.

Then as soon as people arrive, my sister announces that she wants to show people photos from when she visited her new fiance in Britain (um aren't they already on Facebook?) so she spends a good half hour of the shower setting up her laptop to hook up to my aunt's TV and showing people photos of scenery and her and her fiance in front of various old buildings. Everyone is clearly bored, and I'm trying to do damage control at this point but it's also her shower so if that's what she wants to do, then okay.


As soon as she's done with that I try to get the games going with an icebreaker. Two Truths and a Lie is usually fun, because it's a good time to embarrass the bride (mwahaha) and get to know each other. Well, with this group of people, it's immediately clear that most of them don't actually know my sister well enough to really play this game. It took wayyyyy longer than it should have, and several people asked me to skip them.

At this point the time we have is now half over. I really want to get to the scrapbook pages, so we do them next - to me it seems important that my sister have memories when she leaves the country. As everyone is working on their pages, I am overhearing some really sad conversations. My grandma is making pointed comments to my sister about listening to advice. My mom loses it and starts crying, and my sister's friends are comforting her saying how hard it would be for them and their parents if they lived so far away. My little almost-adopted sister, who is 13, is telling everyone within earshot that my sister is "mean and she feels sorry for [her fiance]." (backstory, this kid is someone my sister used to babysit when we were in high school. her parents are out of the picture and she's being raised by her grandma, so my mom has stepped in and helped her a lot and she kind of sees my mom as an adoptive mom. She and I have been weirdly close since she was little and she's always called me her big sister.) Anyways, yeah. Drama everywhere. I'm trying to act like this is a normal bridal shower, a happy event, but the truth seems ready to burst out at every point.

People start leaving early after this, so there isn't time for any of the other games I had planned. Most of the time and money I spent on this thing feels wasted, but hey, it's more the gesture that matters, right?

There was supposed to be a family dinner right after the shower, my sister's farewell to our grandparents and aunt and uncle and cousins, but they decided to move it to Sunday (when I couldn't be there) without telling me - typical. But my grandma called me yesterday and told me I should be glad I wasn't there, because apparently the dinner ended with my sister telling my grandma that she didn't want anyone to be at her wedding except my dad, because "no one would be happy for her," and then apparently she and my mom had a screaming match in front of the restaurant. So yeah, that happened.


My life sometimes, you guys. Is this shit for real?

Share This Story

Get our newsletter