Greenheart is gone and I have no one to talk me out of my brain-cycle. We go to meet/ possible get our dog today! He is so cute in pictures (Kinja will not let me link to my previous post about him to show his friendly face) and his description makes him seem perfect for us. Plus, I spend a lot of time alone, and I think it would be good for me to have a bud and take walks and stuff. He kind of looks like this:

but with a more brindle coat, broader head, and big dog smile.

But I'm having some major anxiety about it, too. Namely, money and commitment. I am very wary of investing heavily in either of these things if I don't know it's absolutely worth it. Luckily I have a highly enmeshed family that is more than happy to give me their opinion. My brothers both thing I'm crazy (for the reasons above), and they are over-the-top in their negativity when they don't like the idea of something. My dad is for it. My mom "doesn't care" in a mom voice, pretty much thinks it's a weird idea.

We've been thinking about him for months, so I know it's not just passing thing, but still I'm agonizing. Is this a mistake? Will I regret it? We have so much to do as it is. It's another expense when we're already tight. And THEN, what if I go and meet him tonight and don't like him in person (dogson?). I'm the kind of person who went on 6 dates with a guy I didn't like because I felt guilty. I hate people thinking mean things about me, and I don't want this woman, who's held him for us for an additional month, to think I'm a flaky jerk. I just wish I had a crystal ball and could see how things would turn out.

Sorry for the long-winded post. I don't have the mental power to be concise at the moment. I have to save that for describing how breathable the fresh batch of running shirts I have to write copy for are (answer: very breathable. if you hold your breathe I bet they would do your breathing for you).