I posted about an issue with my boss about a week ago and was asking for opinions about how badly I'd fucked up, if at all. Well, without too much backstory I've been having issues at work and was not feeling well two weeks ago, asked to leave, boss said no, I left anyway. It had smoothed over a bit in the past week but my supervisor was still being extremely passive aggressive with me in front of co workers but nice when we were alone etc. This woman is my friend, at least I thought she was.
Friday while I was at my desk I got a call from my brother saying that my Grandma was in the hospital. I told my boss casually that I was irritated that my mom had not informed me given it was 10 am the next day. My Grandmother had gone in after chest pain and was admitted to the heart floor. Got another call about 40 minutes later, my mom, hysterical asking me to pick her up b/c the hospital had called saying there was complications and that they'd had to intubate my grandmother and get back there asap. She asked that I pick her up. I walked over to my boss, pulled her aside and told her. Immediately it was apparent by the look on her face that the only thing she extrapolated was that I was requesting to leave (i'd been told after the previous instance to be sure to get clear okay from management to leave, obviously). She had a look on her face that I interpreted as annoyed. She asked why they intubated ( I work in a doctors office). I told her I didn't know but obviously she wasn't able to breathe (hence intubation) and that my mom was hysterical and asking me to pick her up b/c she didn't want to drive.
She asked me if I thought my mom was lying to get me to pick her up because she knew I was mad at her for not telling me that my Grandma had gone to the hospital. That is when it became apparent that this conversation seemed to be going in a weird direction. I told her I did not think that my mom would manipulate me like that. Also said that I wasn't sure exactly what happened because my mom was so upset. My supervisor then told me that she could look up my Grandma's records on our electronic medical record system to see what was going on. At my job we have access to our local hospital's records "one patient, one chart". So, this is when I knew that she thought that I was lying. This woman is my supervisor but also a friend (or so I thought) and 1. this is wildly inappropriate to ask your employee (or tell rather) that you are going to look up their family members medical records. 2. This is illegal (a violation of privacy). 3. She is my superior and I'm afraid to point out numbers 1 and 2. I felt if I said no, she for sure think I was lying. She pulled up my Grandmas chart and I knew this was so wrong but she is my superior and I felt like I had to "prove" what was happening. She saw the note from the ER from the previous night and said " she isn't even in the hospital" Ipointed out the line that said 'admitted to heart care unit' and she said "Oh, My Name, she is only having a cardiac cath" Like it was nothing. Then said that if there was something serious happening that it would be documented in the chart. I didn't want to say that NO, IF SOMETHING SERIOUS WAS HAPPENING THEY'D BE TRYING TO SAVE HER LIFE NOT FUCKING DOCUMENT IN HER CHART. I then walked away called my mom, confirmed that they'd told her there were complications and that I was leaving. She finally agreed and said she'd "shut me down", meaning my workstation etc. I left and 20 minutes after I'd gotten to the hospital the doctor told me she'd died due to complications during the stenting process. Her artery had ruptured, she lost all blood pressure then pulse.
All I could think about initally was SEE MY GRANDMA WAS FUCKING DYING. YOU WERE QUESTIONING ME FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES WHILE SHE WAS DYING. that was my anger and emotions though. Now a few days later I still feel really fucked up about it. It was just so inappropriate. I get that she needed to be careful about letting me leave and make sure it was legit but what lengths do you go to to verify that kind of thing? I'm angry. I told my mom and she is outraged and wants me to quit. quitting is something I've been thinking a lot about after what happened the week prior and also the fact that I'll be leaving soon anyway once I graduate. Am I being too emotional about all this? My mom wants me to report my supervisor to her boss but I think she will get fired and I don't know if that is what I want to happen.