Mr. VB and I got married on 9/23/07. I abhorred being called "Mrs. Cxxxxx"; it sent shivers down my spine, it made me feel old (I was only 24 when we got married), and it pissed me off because I *never* took Mr. VB's last name. For professional, educational and personal reasons, I opted to keep my own last name.

Now, ~6.5 years later, I'm dipping my toes into changing my last name, but only on all official documentation; I will not change my name professionally (I need my credentials/publications, etc. to come up in a Google search of my name). I'm a bit annoyed because the only reason I am considering changing it is because people have told me that if we have children I'll get a lot of side-eyes if we have different last names. damn you patriarchy.

I have to travel abroad the first week of March so my assistant was kind enough to fill out all the passport paperwork and send it over to a company that expedites the renewal process, leaving me with a passport in my "new" name in a mere 2 weeks with no effort (or extra fees!) on my part as my employer will incur all the hassle since my old passport is about to expire. (Holy run on sentence Batman!)

Well, of course it's not as wonderful as it sounds. The expedition company has already contacted me twice about issues on the application and with my marriage certificate. Honestly, the more red tape I have to go through the less inclined I am to actually change my name. Mr. VB has absolutely no preference, especially since it's been ~6.5 years; if he had an issue with my keeping my maiden name he (hopefully) would have communicated it years ago.

So, I have a few questions for the hive...

1. Teachers, is the stink eye given to women whose last name differs from that of their child?


2. If you have a different last name than your child, do you feel at all judged for making this decision?

3. Should I just suck it up, grit my teeth and plow through this, or would you throw things at the patriarchy and continue on with your badass maiden name?



I realized that I very rudely posted without introducing myself!

I live in Westchester County, NY with Mr. VB and our two cats, Benzene & Calvin. Both are rescues from when I was a vet tech in college. I work in drug development, but my fundamental training is as a scientist and later in collaboration with clinicians as I studied at a medical school. Recently I went back to school to get all the pretty business credentials to jump through some corporate hoops. I love cheese, baking, spin, molecular gastronomy, collecting stuffed microbes, shoes, comfy clothes and running. I don't really enjoy long walks on the beach (wait, who am I kidding?!?!) or chocolate (this part is actually true).