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1. Marx and Engels, because one is always sitting just slightly in the shadow of the other, but both would ultimately prefer to sit quietly and theorize about the proletariat instead of actually seeing some action. Also, one of them has an especially kickass beard.

2. Trotsky and Stalin, because the left one has set itself up as a prominent critic of the right one’s state sponsored industrialization policies, and will surely meet a grisly fate at the end of an ice pick one day.

3. Reagan and Gorbachev, because “Mr. President, tear down this wall” is a really fun thing to shout before you take your bra off at night.


4. Castro and Kennedy, because the right one enjoys adopting a particularly terrible Massachusetts accent when it gets drunk and the left one is currently the leader of Cuba.

5. Kim Jong-Un, honestly just because waterparks are really fun and every part of my body agrees. But Kim Jong-Un alone and not his father, because dictators are fine, but there is something about naming your boobs after a father and son which crosses the line.

6. Rosa Luxemburg and Emma Goldman because surely there is something paradoxical about a movement which laid the groundwork for much of early feminist thought, but which had relatively few notable female leaders, but revolution begins in the body, am I right?

7. The Castro brothers. No, not those ones, the other ones because HUD deserves all the press it can get for the work its doing.


8. Ethel and Julius Rosenberg, because (redacted).

9. Slavoj Zizek and Mikael Bakunin, because my breasts are frequently seized upon as talking points by some of the most irritating corners of the internet.


10. Frida Kahlo and Tina Modotti, because I just recently rewatched that tango scene from the movie, and also people don’t talk nearly enough about what an amazingly cool life Tina Modotti led.

11. Phillip and Elizabeth Jennings, because they like to hide in plain sight, and you also have to see their wig collection to believe it.


12. Lenin and Che, because I suspect that both of my breasts were murdered by the CIA

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