And hold on to your pants, that trigger warning is for an issue with an employee.
I’m not the best at getting along with people. I’ve been in a fair share of situations where in retrospect I was the problem, or had a fair share in the problem. I supervise people, and this can be a fucking minefield. There’s a lot of attitudes in this profession, and sometimes the people under me just need to fucking do what I say. I really do try to explain why I’m asking what I’m asking, teach people, etc. But at some point, I’m the one with more education and responsibility, and we’ll be doing it my way. If it goes wrong, well, I’m the one to suffer the consequences.
I’m not the owner of the business where I work, but most employees are under me. I’m not truly their “boss,” I don’t sign their paychecks, I don’t hire or fire, but I give orders and they follow them. There is also a supervisor of the lay staff that are under me.
So this guy, we’ll call him A. He’s the one I posted about a while back who is going to court ordered anger management classes for hitting a girlfriend. He was so awesome to work with when he first started a few months ago. Fun, charming, easygoing, everything. Then the attitude creeps in. Any time I criticize something or say something could be done better, he talks back and argues. Not politely either, very passive-aggressively. Will say things like “well sorry I guess I was just prioritizing [thing of seemingly higher importance] over something trivial.” Uh no dude, you’re prioritizing wrong and you need to do it the way I asked. Then he moved to passive-aggressively telling me I’m talking to him “inappropriately” when I ask him to correct mistakes.
Today there was a miscommunication between the staff that resulted in less than stellar customer service. Ok, piss-poor. I set about trying to figure out where the breakdown was and pointing out that he should have told the receptionist we could not make this thing happen today when she first asked for it for the customer. He started arguing like whoa and then said “I think you’re not listening to me.” At this point my hold on my temper is very tenuous and I just kind of bit out “You’re not listening to me and I’m telling you this is what should have been done.” He said I was talking to him inappropriately and I just lost it and said “Ok, A. Shut. Up. I’m done here.”
And here he asked if I was going to hit him next like an abusive father. I didn’t say anything else at that point.
Now back up to where he is a domestic abuser. And I know he’ll be taking out his anger at me on his current girlfriend tonight, hopefully not physically :(
I know I’m not handling this well. I’ve had it with the constant talkback. We actually just had the lay staff supervisor quit because she could not handle how he was talking to her. The business owner backed him up over her. I’m assuming he’s still working the charm on her, but dropped it around me.
I’m not proud of losing my patience. I know I didn’t handle it well. I keep wondering if it truly is me, I know I can be kind of mean sometimes when people are relentlessly fucking up and I’m perpetually working on being patient. I’ve also screwed the pooch on this particular dynamic by being overly friendly and buddy-buddy with him back when he was cool.
I don’t know how to best approach this back-talk anger management thing. And this whole deal better not fuck with my reference from here when I’ll be leaving in a couple months (boss already knows). Still shaking.
I probably won’t be able to respond to comments tonight, just really needed this off my chest. Thanks.