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Need to vent a little

I will delete this later.

I have posted a few times about difficulty enjoying my job due to an unpleasant colleague whose behavior went past rude and into bullying. Well, she was making a shift into a different role in our company so things were looking up. However, this week she had a full psychotic break at work. It was bad. It happened in an open/common area of work. She attacked (but did not harm) a security guard. The police came. She is in the hospital now getting the help she needs. The details of her behavior are bizzare, violent, and embarrasing enough that I doubt she will return or be allowed to return to our company even when she feels well.

I am struggling with guilt for escalating my issue with her to HR and increasing the stress that did not cause, but certaining helped trigger her meltdown. She made my life at work hell, but I feel terrible. I suggested to our manager several times that she clearly needed outside help. Although I did not guess the extend of her illness. No one did.

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On top of that, my therapist suggested that I was upset over this because I have PTSD from my sisters psychotic episode and past violent outbursts. I don’t know that I agree. It left me feeling week and afraid. I took some time off work to avoid hearing the details and discussing it, but I have to go back Monday. I dread it. I also dread the sympathy I will get (everyone knows it upset me) when clearly it is her life and her partner’s life that are devastated.

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