Oh you guise. Oh gawd gawd gawd gawd. My eyes. My poor sweet eyes. My poor, sensible brain filled with logic and reason. Oh gawd.

I should really know better at this point than to dip my toe in the hellhole that is Yahoo comments, but it was legitimately not on purpose. I was curious about the article, and my eye just wandered to the bottom.

I now have the sentence 'they get tax breaks when they hire welfare workers or people of non white.' permanently stuck in my poor, defenseless little brain. I can't even tell what it means. I can't even tell if this person is trying to be pro-WalMart or anti-WalMart or what, exactly.

I want to know what goes into the mind of a Yahoo commenter. Like have any of you ever been out there and seen a shitstorm of 8000 comments and gone 'Oh yeah, I need to jump in this dog pile.'

They need to have those hidden from public view, so the only way to see them is to answer a series of questions that say 'Are you sure you want to read these shit stains of the written word? Are you absolutely sure?'

I may just make that a regular feature on my blog—writing about terrible Internet comments and trying to figure out what the hell they are all about. For science purposes, you know? To help the aliens who find the remains of our civilization after it has been wiped out by the lizard people.