Welcome To The Bitchery

New Airline Regulations Are On Their Way

These are new regulations for the safety of passengers and crew.

1. After checking in passengers and other members of their declared gender will be put behind curtains with a bag and hospital gown. Crew will be there to assist in tying the back laces. Passengers will place their clothes in a bag with nametag on outside of bag. Clothes will be sterilized and put in cargo.

2. Passengers will then be allowed to board with nothing else. Those who need canes one will be provided.


3. When seated a passenger will put their hands on the armrest to allow their wrists to be locked in place. These locks will be released remotely in event of an emergency or when the plane rolls in for the stop at the destination.

4. Passengers will be given a liquid lunch. A steward will hold the drink and place the straw between passenger lips so the passenger can drink from it with a straw. The steward will hold the liquid lunch for 30 seconds.

5. Diapers amd catheters will be given out as needed. Airlines may charge for these.

7. An Adeptus Astartes will be on the plane for security.

Share This Story