Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

I got a text from a friend the other night, about the new show, “The Passage.” I hadn’t heard of it so she was trying to describe it and here’s what she came up with:

It’s about these scientists who are trying to find the cure for disease... like every disease, and they accidentally make vampires...


And I died laughing. I told her “and they accidentally make vampires” is the best show description I’ve ever heard. :D

Now, I’ve decided that every great movie or show should end with the accidental creation of vampires. I started practicing on Homey last night by describing my new favorite “vampire” movies and making him guess the originals. So, like:

It’s about this guy and he’s wrongfully convicted of a crime. And he goes to prison and makes a friend. And they start digging a hole in the wall, behind a poster, and they accidentally make vampires.

Or, it’s about a giant shark that’s killing a bunch of people off the coast of a quaint town. And some guys decide to hunt the shark so they get a big boat and they go out to sea, searching for the shark. And one night, they get drunk and they’re telling stories, and they accidentally make vampires.

You guys want to try? Describe your favorite “vampire” movie or show and see if we can guess. But, please remember, they need to be accidental vampires. :D


P.S. After that text, she did say, completely unironically, “It’s better than I’m describing.”

Share This Story

Get our newsletter