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..... are cute.... but mad boring, guys. Sorry.

Skip this if you don’t feel like reading a birth story!

Quick update: I had my beautiful baby girl three days before Christmas. I was in labor for three full days, two of which were completely unmedicated (pain wise... I had a dose of miso propel for cervix ripening on Tuesday which caused my contractions to be intense and close together).. the miso jacked up the contractions but didn’t help with dilation. I went two days on this one dose, even though was supposed to take multiple doses I couldn’t cause my contractions were too close together. The pain was terrible, i tried everything’s (we were at home cause no dilation) The tipping point for me was middle of the night Thursday when I started puking and was puking while contracting. I said fuck this imma get me some effing pain relief and to the hospital we went at 3:30 am. I was two full weeks late. Baby girl was fine during all of this. In went the epidural, pic line, pitocin, and catheter. Yo epidurals are some bomb ass shit. Spent all of Thursday bed bound and in labor, blissfully not feeling the contractions. They kept checking me and dialation was just going soooooo slowly. Basically in the nighttime they told me if I was t fully dialated by midnight or close to it, c section it would be. Spoiler alert!!!! I had a c section.


I sobbed during the whole procedure. I had a full blown panic attack on the operating table. I also puked the whole time too, lol. Everyone in the room was pretty horrified. Basically this situation was the “perfect” situation to trigger my PTSD and send me spiraling downwards.

Baby was born at 1 am on Friday (not this Friday, the Friday before Christmas), completely healthy and covered in poop. She was pink and crying vigorously. I was uninterested and still panicking. They took her away cause i couldn’t pay attention to her and I was puking everywhere and Mr. carbs stayed with me.


She is cute!! She is our tiny, squee inducing overlord. I gotta be honest, and I knew this ahead of time, newborns are kind of a snooooooooze. Cry, eat, sleep, poop, repeat. No real interaction. It sucks that she’ll be more interesting just as I have to return to work.

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