Where I'm the swimmer and Jaws is my project. Ok it's my contract renewal dossier. CAN I FREAK OUT NAO?

I was warned not to let this sit until now, but I honestly had no way of being able to focus on it until now, aside from going to some workshops about how to do it.

I cancelled my plans to spend C'mas with family so I could chain myself to my computer and write / research / etc. I'm just now starting to actually write, and I am overwhelmed but I am making tea and telling myself we're just gonna Bird By Bird this mofo. It was the right decision; family isn't mad, but I'm a bit sad because my dad's health isn't so good, I ALSO didn't go for Thanksgiving, and I just miss him and the other kinfolks.

My therapist thinks I have ADD. Not the "look, a squirrel!" kind, but something to do with Executive Functions? She wants me to take Adderall when I have big projects like this and says it could potentially be life-changing for me. She says that I am really high functioning but that I'm compensating with my intellect whereas I could be doing so much better. OK I honestly never really believed ADD was a real thing. I'm like, I concentrate just fine! But she first brought it up over a year ago and she was really saying, let's get you tested because if this is what's going on with you then things could be so much better. Anyone here take Adderall? Any side effects I should look out for? I'm kind of nervous about it because isn't it really addictive?

Anyhoo. Feel free to commiserate with me. What are your extra super intimidating projects and obligations?

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Peace.