A former co-worker who is thin posted something on FB about how girls should appreciate what they look like now because one day they'll be fat. So fat.

I wrote that comments like that were hurtful to actual fat women like me. That I didn't appreciate being depicted as the horror of the future. She deleted it and wrote something like "it's just a tongue-in-cheek joke." Oh yes, it's just that I'm sensitive and not that you're an asshole.

Another friend's husband posted something about how you should be careful eating Valentine's Day chocolates in private, because you don't want to be embarrassed when you go out in public.

I'm just done. I'm a big fat fat girl. I've been fat since I was in single digits. I'm old now and I'm tired. I'm tired of being told that I'm someone else's horror. That I shouldn't go outside because then people might have to look at me. That I can't have pretty clothes that fit. That girls who look like me don't get to be loved or held. That I deserve having things thrown at me, both verbal and physical. That's what I get for being fat.

For the life of me, I don't understand why these people - who know someone fat (me) and know that I'm a person - feel OK saying these things. Why is it remotely OK to be nasty about how someone looks?


Maybe it's because it's cold. Maybe it's Friday the 13th. Maybe it's Valentine's Day and I sent Valentine's to all my friends (even the ones who are married and will get a present from their husband) and presents to my nieces and got.. nothing. The truth is, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and still be fat.