So to update, I am ovulating (got a happy face on my Clear Blue Easy test) but things are stressful in the House of McCoy. I have a relative pleading guilty in federal court this week to a pretty bad crime. I made the colossal mistake of reading NY Mag’s piece on global warming yesterday. I drank a lot this weekend when relatives were visiting and was 90% sure I wasn’t with child, but the 10% chance would’ve maybe spelled disaster.
Switching from one antidepressant to another right now. I’m also not sleeping and haven’t been since November. The OB/GYN prescribed Ambien first (fail - 4 hours of sleep, then a sudden awakening), now Ativan. We’ll see how that goes. My anxiety and depression have been precarious since first diagnoses in my teens. I don’t think they’re heritable as they seem to have been caused by my father’s unexpected death at the time, but they’re damn sure hard to manage as an adult.
I’m going to confess I could be doing more to really try. Is that okay? Can I continue to be ambivalent? How are moms in this amazing community coping with the threats kids face under Trump?