While I sit here, completely mesmerized, with horror, about the tornadoes that are all around Birmingham, Alabama, I need something to occupy my mind.

What I really need are emergency kittens.

Why can't we have this?!? You need kittens; you get on the phone to Emergency Kittens! They flip on the siren and bring you seven or eight kittens for the afternoon.

It seems like a great start-up to me. I think there is money to be made. Kittens and complimentary cupcakes. Okay, kittens, complimentary cupcakes, and a shirtless hot dude or lovely woman who brings them to your house.

What? It's workable.

EDITED TO ADD: Thank you, everyone. You were very nice, and I really appreciate it. My family is okay. They lost some trees, but they seem to be all in one piece. Of course, they still have the rest of the night to get through, but it doesn't look quite as bad for later.

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Also, I hope everyone is okay out there. It was pretty hairy there for a bit.

You are all invited to my wedding to the tiny turtle on the skateboard. See below. ;)