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Not Surprised

So I’ve been having a hard time lately, like a really bad time. I stopped even trying to post in the 3 Good Things discussion, I can’t think of any. I mean I can list things but I’m not getting anything from it. The most patient man loves me and I can’t feel it. I used to have all these awesome life fantasies and now I can’t picture past tomorrow. I cry the whole hour on the way home and hope I crash, so I could have a break from my job. I would quit but The Consort lost his job, no savings means I’m volunteering extra at the hellmouth. He signed a 2 year lease meaning I’m stuck in this shitty small town. So I’m trapped/stuck in 2 places I hate. It’s hitting me hard, I’m not getting better. The Consort made me swear to see a therapist or some kind of help. I love him, I wanna have hopes again so I go to my insurance’s website to find a provider in network. Color me shocked there are no counselors/therapist/psychiatrists in this shitty town or the city an hour away or the major city 2 hours away. My insurance doesn’t cover anything but commitals. Honestly it’s the most I’ve laughed all week. So here’s hoping the country nurse practitioner knows something about cheap out of pocket counseling or psych meds.

*this post may self destruct


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