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Nothing Gold Can Stay: LF and I Broke Up

TW: Self-harm

Hi GT,

LF broke up with me yesterday. After I got him to spit the words out. Walking upstairs to the apartment, I knew that it was full with snakes.


The premise is so he and I can both get our shit together. He goes out to get high (on weed, presumably ) while I stay inside. I say I may feel like going to the hospital. He says he'll stay with me there. He says that he loves me and will keep on loving me throughout his time for self-care. I ask him what he wants of me. He says "I don't know."

But before I can figure out if I need to go, he leaves. He promises he'll be back. I take hella sleeping pills. He hasn't been back. I've woken up in the night and screamed his name. He wasn't there. I find a pack of matches. I burn myself.

I can't muster the energy to make it out of bed. I have a double today. It's restaurant week. And I feel like dying.

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