I just realized at a party next week I will be the only single person. Oh god. Oh god.

It's my friend's birthday party dinner. She's bringing her boyfriend, her friend is bringing her fiancée, and her other two friends are bringing their husbands. And then there is me. Alone. Single.

I've never felt this way before. I usually never cared. But that kind of line up is enough to make even the most hardcore singleton shake in their boots.

Add to the fact that my younger sister just got engaged in the most hideously, sickeningly, over the top, Hollywood style most romantic way EVER and I'm feeling kind of low. (Seriously. Her Australian boyfriend flew from Sydney to NYC as a surprise and arrived at her door on Valentine's Day, on bended knee, asking to marry her. I CAN'T EVEN)

I'm usually fine with the whole dying alone thing and I'm basically the old spinster in a Jane Austen novel, but I feel nauseous over it now. A party where I'm the only single person. An engagement in the family.

Are they still taking applications to go to Mars? Can I leave before next weekend?