I've discovered a new thing to be anxious about. Yay?
I work freelance which means I work in different offices just about every month. Quite a lot of the time I get repeats and I know the permanent office peeps so it's not so awkward.
The office I'm working in now is not only completely unfamiliar but they have weird "convenient" policies that make me feel incredibly awkward.
The kitchen has food for everyone. They literally have a refrigerator full of food for people to just take. They have four different cereals in fancy jars for you with little scoopers. They have FIVE different types of milk. I am currently having Honey Nut Cheerios with some organic almond milk. Most production offices have things for you but this one is like a wonderland of good, healthy, delicious food.
I'm not used to eating breakfast but they had so many delicious things, I decided to get some yogurt/berries/honey yesterday.
BIG MISTAKE. For my anxiety flared up like a noxious beast of The Hiding-Away-in-a-Quiet-Corner-variety.
When I went in there was no one there so I was totally cool figuring out where everything was. Then folks started filtering in and suddenly I thought everyone was looking at me and judging me for not being quick enough or knowing where anything was.
I was wrong, of course. People were really cool about pointing me in the right direction after I politely asked but it is so super awkward when you're in a foreign kitchen with a bunch of natives and they are circling you.
The second awkward thing is that they have a cleaning duo, a man and a woman, who put all the dishes in the dishwasher. You're supposed to leave your dishes in the sink. I tried putting my dishes in the dishwasher and the cleaning woman came behind me and rearranged them.
I'm not used to having cleaning people around. I grew up poor. I didn't experience the joy of a dishwasher until I started working freelance at these fancy production offices. Now I'm used to loading the dishwasher at work but they do that here. I don't like leaving my messes for other people to clean up.
Yes, this is some first world stupidity.
ETA: I've just learned they have a fancy water kettle that brews water according to what kind of tea you are having. Apparently I've gone down the rabbit hole.