I'm not going to sort games into categories this week. I'm too depressed over the end of the Rangers season. I'll still have the golden moments of that insane 7-game win streak. If it had been a 9-game win-streak, they'd be in what I still think of as the "real" playoffs. Instead, the team who doesn't deserve to be there is the Rays. Because I have to be honest: if the Rangers had made it, it would have been better than they deserved. I would have demanded that they at least sweep the first round of the playoffs and the divisional series in order for me to believe in them. But don't think I'm one of those fair-weather fans who has given up on the team just because they've been eliminated from playoff contention: I still think they have a chance. I've seen enough underdog movie stories to know that surely the Rays will be revealed to have all cheated (like, they used magic or something) and will be disqualified, so the Rangers will make it to the world series and beat the snooty baseball team from the good neighborhood.

Oh yeah, I was talking about football:

Buffalo vs. Cleveland

"Jacksonville" vs. St. Louis

Kansas City vs. Tennessee

Philadelphia vs. NY Giants

This is a tough one: on the one hand, I would root for the Christ Punchers before I'd root for the Eagles. On the other hand, the way the Giants have been playing, I wouldn't feel safe picking the Giants even if they were going up against the Big City Fluffy Little Bunnies (let's see if they get that obscure cartoon reference!) But if the Giants win, that would help out my "every team in the NFC East goes 3-13" scenario.

Baltimore vs. Miami

Seattle vs. Indianapolis

Maybe if you convince Indy fans that this is actually a motor-car race, and then actually have a motor-car race there, they might actually break Seattle's noisiness record or whatnot, and also run over several Seahawks, which would even out the advantage a bit.

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Detroit vs. Green Bay

New England vs. Cincinnati

One of these weeks, the Pats will finally lose a game, like they've been trying to do all season. But they'll have to wait until they play an actual football team.

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New Orleans vs. Chicago

Carolina vs. Arizona

Houston vs. San Francisco

San Diego vs. Oakland

NY Jets vs. Atlanta

Official Ph.Dad PhD (Piles of heterosexual Deviants) pick of the week of the litter (Don't mess with Texas) pick.

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Denver vs. Dallas

Denver is being retired from the OGNFLP: there's no point anymore, so for future reference, assume that I pick Denver to win from here on out until they crap out in the playoffs.

Non-NFL Pick of the Week, absolute value of baseball memories edition

Feliz pitching the wicked curve and A-Rod standing there looking like an idiot when the Rangers took the AL pennant in 2010 vs. Cruz coming up short on the catch that would have won the World Series in Game 6 of 2011, which I was watching at the bar of the Arlington Hotel in Hot Springs, Arkansas.