ETA: Thank you everyone for all the love and support. You have no idea how much it means. Also, I just got my computer tonight—holy crap this thing is fast!
I have a lot to be anxious about right now. I'm unemployed, and have to spend quite a bit of money to replace stuff that was stolen. I just bought a very expensive computer. Yes, I could have gotten something cheaper, but I believe in investing in quality and this is going to be my computer for the next 5-7 years. But still, $1500 on my credit card.
Despite all this, I've mostly been doing well managing anxiety. I've been...if not happy, at least relatively ok with my situation, knowing what's ahead. But today it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm freaked out because there's not a lot I can do on the job search front right now. No one is looking to hire until after the holidays. No one is willing to network because holidays. I've gained some weight, so I feel assy about how I look and how my clothes fit. And I'm older, not where I feel like I should be in my career, and worried that's going to work against me. And I hate feeling poor. I was doing really well this past year. I wasn't a spendthrift and I saved money, but it was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel like I had to track every single dollar I spent. I was able to go out. I could buy nice stuff occasionally. I felt normal. Going back to being ultra-conscious of my spending really sucks.
So I took an extra half a klonopin today because I can't handle feeling like an anxious mess. GT, please, have some pity. Tell me some soothing things. Tell me I'm doing well, that I'm ok, and this is not going to last forever. Send cute and/or funny gifs. Or share your sad stories and I will tell you the truth: that you are a strong, capable, and all around delightful person with enough guts for 10 and a charming smile to boot. (Seriously, I do believe this about all of GT.)