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Oh for Pete's sake...

Dear Prudie,

I am in my late 20s and have been married to a wonderful guy "Dave" for three years. He and his mother have always had a very close relationship (which I think is great), especially when it comes to their mutual love for a local professional sports team. They have a tradition of going on trips to see their team play away games. This went on even after we began dating, and is continuing now that we are married and have our own home. I think it's extremely bizarre for a married man in his early 30s to still be taking trips with his mother and sharing a hotel room. He has been on three trips with her in the six years that we have been together. (I was invited only once.) I have expressed to both of them that I don't think it's appropriate that these trips are still taking place, and I was basically shrugged off. (His father doesn't seem to see any problem with it.) Now they have another trip coming up, which they booked without consulting me. I have no problem with their attending a few home games per year together, but I think it's time that these overnight trips came to an end. I definitely don't want this continuing once we have children. Should I put my foot down, or should I just accept that this a tradition that is going to continue despite my efforts to put an end to it?


—Starting to Feel Like the Other Woman

Dear Starting,

This indeed is deeply disturbing—not the trips themselves, but your implication that something untoward, even incestuous, is going on between your husband and his mother. If this is what you believe is taking place, then you owe it to your unborn children for them to remain that way until you get a divorce and find a husband not in a Psycho-like relationship with his mother. But despite your vague insinuations, I don't think even you think that's what is going on. In the time you've known your husband he and his mother have gone to see their favorite team play an away game every other year. So what? They have a passionate attachment to a sport that you apparently don't share. Given your attitude, it's no wonder they only extended a request for your company once. I agree it's inconsiderate for your husband to announce his upcoming departure without talking to you beforehand. But I hope you can see that he wanted to avoid listening to your unreasonable demands. Without an additional list of bizarre behaviors that would bolster your case that an intervention is needed, I don't see the problem. You even say you're glad he and his mother enjoy each other's company. So to ensure that Dave continues to enjoy yours, stop your foul objections, and join your father-in-law in wishing them a fun trip that ends in victory.


FYI: I did NOT add that Psycho amazon link. It came with the cut and paste. But it is appropriate to the LW's thinking.

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