I mean, this ultimately isn't really even my decision/problem...but I have feelings about it, and it's definitely going to affect my life, so blah. Venting below.
GreenHunk failed two of his midterms. I think he's getting Bs in the classes other than the midterms (not sure how much of his grade they are), so he might still pass the classes - I've told him to go talk to his teachers about extra credit options, which I think he will do. But he just found out about one of them and I know he is going to be incredibly discouraged.
I feel like it's my fault somehow. I'm the one with the master's degree, and last term I helped him with all of his homework. This term I've kind of taken a step back, because I'm not the most patient person and my helping him seemed like it was making our relationship worse, and he was so frustrating to teach sometimes. Like I would suggest some change, to an essay or something for example, that I knew would give him a better grade, and he would stubbornly insist that, no, what he did already was what the teacher wanted specifically. And I'm like sitting there thinking, um no, I used to be a teacher and I never even got a single B in college, I probably have a better idea about what your teacher wants in an essay than you do, but clearly I can't say that, and it was just frustrating and I think he picked up on my mood and it made him feel bad about himself, so this term I just told him I'm here for him if he needs help but I'm not going to like organize when he studies or anything. And he didn't ask for help with either of the midterms he failed. I don't think he asked for help from his teachers, either.
If he fails 2 of his 3 classes, he's going to lose his financial aid for next term. I can't think of a way to get it back, either - I got it reinstated at the beginning of the year for him by vouching that I taught college and will be helping him with study skills (he failed out years before I met him and lost all his financial aid). Which means we'll have to pay out of pocket if he wants to go back. And he doesn't have a job right now. And I can't pay his tuition - I'm already paying his rent. All the jobs he had before this were in manufacturing and were causing him back pain and I suspect he might have a partially slipped disc. If he fails I have no idea what we're going to do.
Well, really, what he's going to do. I am emotionally taking on a burden that's really his to figure out. But I know he's going to be incredibly discouraged tonight when we get home, and I don't even have a clue how to cheer him up. I have never in my life failed a test. I don't even actually know how he could have failed those midterms. I have sympathy, obviously, but mostly I feel a lot of helpless confusion and probably more frustration than I should feel. How do I be a good partner in this situation? I think my gut is telling me I should be kind to him and be there for him but let him figure it out. I'm just scared the part of me that is hyper-type-A is going to pop out and be like "omg what are we going to do????" Which is why I'm venting about it here - get those feelings over and done with before they affect how I actually act toward him.