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Illustration for article titled Oh, Lindsay...

I want to believe you, I really do. But you have so many strikes against you: you've demonstrated a complete disinterest in common courtesy, you appear to in deep denial about your professional value, past actions indicate you possess an addict's belief that you are smarter than everyone around you. Granted, your behavior has continuously resulted in media attention ranging from a photo shoot, an appearance on a talk show or a role on a sitcom. For some reason, people continue to hire you even though it seems as though they are just setting fire to piles of money.

So, you could very well have had a miscarriage. I am sorry if that is true, because if for some reason you have used having a miscarriage as an excuse for your selfish behavior during the filming of your show with Oprah you are done with the female population.


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