I am so incredibly pissed right now. I ordered a table for my cute new apartment back in early July. I was very excited about having a dining table so I didn't have to eat while sitting on the sofa. It was a cute little table from West Elm:

Cute, and simple, and modern. Perfect for my new apartment. I also ordered a coffee table, and two rugs. The table, as it turns out, is a special order. Fine. I can wait. I'm very excited for the new furniture!

I am notified one day, randomly, that my rug has been delivered. Um, okay, but I didn't schedule any delivery. Where is my rug sitting? I am at work, not at home to accept delivery... I go home, and there is no rug. Not in my building lobby, not by my front door, not in the building courtyard. Okay... I called customer support. They were shocked - shocked! - that my rug wasn't there. They said they would immediately send a new rug. The new rug arrived about four days later. It was beautiful. Everything I hoped it would be. I was very happy. Three days later I was notified - by email - that my rug had been delivered. Okay... seems a little late. Whatever. I go home and realize that another rug has been delivered. The original rug. I now have two of the same rug. Minor irritation. What am I supposed to do with the second rug?

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The next day I am informed, via email again, that my coffee table has been delivered. This is highly annoying. Why am I not notified in advance that large items are being delivered to me? I call the customer support line, and they inform me that West Elm does not have their own delivery service, and rely on a third party for deliveries. Completely unconnected to West Elm. This is not a good thing. But whatever. When I get home my coffee table, which has to be assembled, is sitting outside the front door of my building, in the rain. The boxes are soaked. So now I have to lug an extremely heavy table up to my apartment. Very annoyed at this point. That fucker was really heavy.

Now comes the fun part. The "custom" table is what they term "in home" delivery, so is actually scheduled. Awesome! They call me to schedule the delivery for beginning of September. On the day of delivery they arrive with the table top, but not the base. I have a large, heavy, round table top, but no base. Stupidly, I accept delivery and then call West Elm customer support. They were very apologetic, and promised to deliver a whole new table, at which time they would remove the sad table top. Fine. Inconvenienced, but fine.

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A month goes by, and I've heard nothing from them. I called to ask about status, and was told that the table was arriving at the warehouse the following day, and they would be calling to schedule delivery within the next two days. I'm sure you can guess what happened. No call. I wait a whole week, and then call the customer support line. Yep, the table is scheduled to arrive at the warehouse tomorrow, and someone will be calling you to schedule delivery. Huh? That's what I was told last week... What's happeing here?

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I told them the table needed to be delivered on Saturday (today). Period. I put my foot down. I really hate being "that guy," but seriously, come on. This is getting ridiculous. They agreed, and scheduled a time. This afternoon the delivery guys showed up. Want to guess what they delivered? I'm sure you have an inkling... Yep, just the table top. So now I have two table tops, no base, and the delivery guys have no instructions to remove the already present table base. I am irate. Seriously, hulk-smash irate.

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Holy shit, you guys. I am so pissed. I've cancelled the order, and demanded a refund, which they're happy to do. But seriously, I've now been without a dining table for over three months. I will never purchase anything from West Elm again. Ever. The experience has been so unpleasant. Lesson learned. Also, any suggestions where I can get a nice, modern dining table?