Friends, we are witness to an injustice, and who will speak out? Science has proven that men with wide faces are more aggressive, and more likely to behave selfishly and unethically, but all of that is just because we expect them to.

Behold this horribly trampled-down face:

I know, it's hard to see such tragedy. But we must be strong. We must be the change we wish to see in the world, my fellow Jezzies. WE MUST SPEAK FOR THE WIDE-FACED MEN. Next time you see Leo DiCaprio, remember that he is a downtrodden person. Remember that all of his wide-faced life, people have been marginalizing him and treating him selfishly in anticipation of his selfishness. It's a vicious circle, y'all. We must break that circle. Tell Leo how much you trust him. Tell him that you will split a cronut with him, and then LET HIM HAVE THE SLIGHTLY BIGGER HALF. If we work together, we can change the world.