So I got BCC'd on a "We're a group of concerned parents..." email today. It was from this lady I've met once before at my SIL's 30th Birthday Extravaganza. I think she sent it to everyone she knows who lives in our same county and is encouraging us to speak out against Common Core. Now, I'm not really familiar with this issue but as a mom, I guess I need to get a quick education. I may ultimately agree that CC is bad for our schools or not, but the issue itself wasn't what had me rolling my eyes at her email, it was this:

"Classic books like Treasure Island and Moby Dick will be replaced by pornographic books such as The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison."

First off, boo-hoo that one of the most boring books of all time won't be mandated reading to high schoolers. Moby Dick remains the only required reading I ever couldn't get through. I think I lasted all of 50 pages and just couldn't do it any more. And this is coming from someone who read The Scarlett Letter and Huck Finn both times they were assigned. And liked it. She makes it sound like the only other books that will be considered will all be "pornographic". Um, really? They're gonna wipe out alllllll the classic literature and replace them only with books that have sexual content? Fuck off.

Secondly, did I mention that in the 36 hours I spent with her at my SIL's birthday event that she made quick work of letting us all know about her lovers โ€” both male and female, past and present. She's married. Which, fine if you have an open marriage (and I'm pretty sure she does), sleep with anybody you want. I don't care and I don't judge you for it. But do not get all Maude Fuckin' Flanders with me about your kids being exposed to inappropriate sexual content when your private life includes getting it on with whoever you want whenever you want. We're talking about a book that, if included in curriculum, would be read by high schoolers. I'm going out on a limb here and thinking her kids might know what's up by that point. Again, fuck off.

Thirdly, I highly doubt that any specific book โ€” without alternatives โ€” is going to be mandated curriculum, especially one as contested as The Bluest Eye. Seriously, just fuck off with your non-critical thinking.

Unrelated to her email but to give some additional background to her person: that weekend she also made a point to bring up and defend George Zimmerman โ€” three separate times โ€” and rant about the blowback she got on Facebook when she inserted herself in someone else's post to "correct" the portrayal of Trayvon Martin as a young, innocent kid. He was a "thug", ya know.

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So, yeah. I don't think there are many current social issues on which we're going to agree. In short: Fuck off, Maude.

*email marked as spam and deleted*