After four years of highly sporadic use, my OK Cupid inbox has met its maximum capacity and is in need of a big fat steaming dump. I felt the need to share this dump with you.
These are the men who fell through the cracks of my inbox, messages I never saw from those who were too low a match percentage, too young, too old, or too far away. Some are douches, some are weird, and some are surprisingly okay. As I set about the task of mulling through them, I couldn’t help but see patterns emerge and wondering and what it might reveal about me, about men, and about the climate of mating and dating.
This first compilation is the cut and paste edition! These are salutation drive-bys and form letters that could’ve been addressed to any one of a dozen women and most likely were. Even their names, when given, are as interchangeable as the messages themselves. In point of fact, just out of respect for anonymity, I’ve changed all their names into equally banal names because that’s just how generic we’re getting here.
Shall we begin?
Happy Sunday morning!
Happy New Year!
Hey, how are you?
Hi how are you doing?
Hello, I’m Mark. How are you?
Hello! How’s your day going?
hey there! good weekend so far?
Hey how are you doing today? Any plans for the weekend?
Hey hey what’s going on? So I haven’t even done my profile yet but you caught my eye. Can I ask you something
Hey, what’s up? I’m really intrigued by your profile. I’m Andrew by the way.
Hi, I’m Edward, artist and professor. How’s the manhunt going?
Good morning how are you my name is Michael it’s a pleasure to meet you. I am 36 born and raised in Brooklyn reside in Dumbo. I am a software engineer for the government degree in computer science
Hru? I’m Peter and am interested in getting to know you more first of all what’s your name? ..... just a bit about me I’m 42 work as chef and have a daughter. I enjoy movies, parks, and outdoors. Let’s chat when you got a chance until then have a good day.
Hello how are you ? First of all I’m James and you be?I was checking out your profile. I see we share some common interests. I would like to get to know you and share in are similarities. About me Basic info work as chef at a major airlines’ lounge . I have 8 year old beautiful daughter . l’m originally from great state of Ohio(35 years go Bucs) .l enjoys biking,sports, movies,traveling ,and walking .But most important is time with my daughter. If interests you tell me more about you and we can chat sometime. Thank you for you time and hope to hear from you soon. Enjoy your day and the winter weather to come.Good luck. wink
Hello. My name is David and I’m an attorney from here in New York. I was browsing the profiles and was fortunate enough to come upon yours. You’re very attractive. I would love to get to know you.
Perhaps after taking a look at my photos, and seeing what I wrote, (I know it’s not a lot) you may like to chat some time. I do many interesting things and know of many interesting places in and around NYC that I’d love to share.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Hello Live alone at Hanover Square. Dominant, normal man. Work from home. Flexible hours. Brilliant composer.
Seeking adult friend
Did I get your attention?
Hey, You seem pretty amazing, someone I would like to know, even if just a new friend.
I will keep it short and sweet, because on website like this I don’t know if my lovely charm and wit shine, doubtful but possible ;)
Hope you have a fantastic night!
If you don’t mind me saying you look absolutely stunning. Would love to have the pleasure of getting to know you. I am a gentleman and unlike a lot of men on this site (so I’ve heard), I am looking for something meaningful. Stop by and read my profile. It paints a picture of the man I am. Hopefully you will find something interesting about me. Looking forward to hearing from you. Enjoy your Friday and weekend.
Hi how are you? My names Ted, I’d like to get to know you. Would you like to talk and get to know each other? I look forward to hearing from you.
I’m coming to the city tomorrow, staying though the week, maybe you’d like to meet.
Hi! I’m flying into manhattan for the weekend from the bay area! Any interest in grabbing dinner tomorrow night?
I know it’s super forward, but you never know unless you ask.
My name is Jake, please let me know if you’re free…
a glass of wine?...
i think you should go out with me