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OK Cupid: Filtered Inbox Edition, Vol. 3

After four years of highly sporadic use, my OK Cupid inbox has met its maximum capacity and is in need of a big fat steaming dump. I felt the need to share this dump with you.

These are the men who fell through the cracks of my inbox, messages I never saw from those who were too low a match percentage, too young, too old, or too far away. Some are douches, some are weird, and some are surprisingly decent. As I set about the task of mulling through them, I couldn’t help but see patterns emerge and wondering and what it might reveal about me, about men, and about the climate of mating and dating. 


This third installment features the men of parts. My parts, to be specific. Let the fetishisizing commence!

The Nina Simone documentary is pretty amazing. Not an aficionado on her but do list her as greatest female blues singer I’ve ever heard. Discovered her in my youth when she was a baseline to Bridget Fonda’s character in Point of No Return.

Honestly, never dated a black girl but really like your vibe and your hot, which doesn’t hurt.

That said - I’ve only been single 3 years in my adult life also...


Hi how are you? I hope your relaxing this weekend, I think your really interesting and of coarse beautiful, I’m a generous (financially and physically) guy very weak for tall pretty black girls and like to spoil, Can we chat? I’d love to get to know you and meet you. Anthony

Nice profile :)

And as a vertically gifted person I also find your height very appealing!

How is your day so far?

That is, indeed, a lovely head of head of hair. Stunning, even. Very Lisa Bonet of you.

Because you’re 5'10", I feel the need to mention that I’m 6'0". REAL 6'0", not OK Cupid 6'0" (5'9").

I’m Jeff. Good to fake internet meet you.

Love the hair! Great photos too.

Hope all is well.

Which hair is “the hair” ?

Illustration for article titled OK Cupid: Filtered Inbox Edition, Vol. 3

Wow! You’re the only girl whose picture I’ve seen who has wilder hair than my Irish girlfriend (brunette in picture—her hair temporarily under control in that pic).



I’m taking the scale of your hair as both an inspiration and a challenge. Mine’s a bit more ringletty than yours.

I was once in a fish n chip shop in London and a woman came in and just stared at me. A little old woman. 60-odd and about 5'2". When I turned to look at her she just held her hand up, palm flat and forward, “can I get a witness?”-style. Then she says, “Such beautiful hair” in this Jamaican patois. So I smiled and leaned over and she starts patting my head and gently pulling the ringlets out and letting them spring back.

The woman behind the counter at the chip shop just stood there, mouth agape with a disbelieving look in her eyes.

After about 10 seconds I stood back to full height, collected my take-out and said my goodbyes.

The chip shop woman never let me forget it. Every time I’d go back she’d ask me if anyone had recently touched my hair. Eventually I cropped it and the questions stopped. Never saw the old lady again.

Do you ever get that? People wanting to touch your hair? To be honest, I bet they want to touch you everywhere else too, but let’s just stick with the hair for now.


Can I run my hands thru your hair? It looks so good

Wow you are so sexy, I became so horny because of u. Would you see me now?

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Hi,I’m Anthony,Boriqua,I Rest in Washington Htz,I Smoke Weed,You Definitely Seem like Someone Real to Know,you Dnt Get that on Okc,I Like,Godbless,Your Complexion is Vry Beautiful & Sexy,I Only Date Darkskin’d Women,,I Definitely Would Love To knw you,Hit me up When you want,Dios Bendiga Mi Bella,The Eyes & Lips are Beautiful Godbless it

The Lips&Legs Won Me Hard 





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