This week, we have a trip to the zoo, a surprise appearance from a familiar face, and a vast indescribable collection of tupperware.

Lord Byron

Lord Byron and I have still been texting a little bit every day. He had to be up early today so he didn't want to do anything in the evening yesterday, but we went to the zoo in the afternoon (and then back to his place for a little while), so that was fun. I still don't know that there are any magical sparks between us, but I like talking to him and we have similar interests and the sex is good, so I'm happy with this going how it is right now.

The only thing I'm not a huge fan of so far is that he doesn't seem to be very into physical affection, which I am. He kissed me hello at the zoo and held my hand for about five minutes, but that was it. Even when we were at his place, the cuddling was largely one-sided. I don't get the impression that he's actively avoiding it, more that it's just not his thing to be constantly touching. And obviously he's welcome to have his own preferences there, but I wish they matched up a bit more with my preferences.

The Brit

I got mad at the Brit this week. I was mentioning how my apartment was making weird, slightly unnerving noises and said this:


To which he responded:

I was already frustrated because I was surrounded by irritating people in a Starbucks and not getting any work done, so that was not what I wanted to get in my inbox. My response probably bordered on the tone I use with my landlord when he pisses me off. He made a very good apology, though, and I believe him when he said that he didn't realize how seriously I had meant my comment about it. Conveying/picking up on tone in writing is tricky, especially when it's someone you joke around with a lot.


On the other side of the Things The Brit Has Done This Week spectrum: He's mentioned that it's still super tentative, but he might be visiting friends near DC this summer. So, um, that might be a thing.

Date #9: Change of Plans

Remember how I was supposed to go ice skating on Monday? As it turns out, the website lied and Sunday was the last day for skating. Since our original plans were out and I wasn't feeling great on Monday, we cancelled the date. He's been out of town since Thursday, so we'll try to make plans again this coming week.


A Blast From the Past

Remember way back in January when I made plans with a guy and then he cancelled abruptly and disappeared after I said I wasn't sure how long I'd be staying in DC? Of course you don't, because it was pretty boring and not worth remembering.

This week I got a message from a guy with the same picture and a slightly different username:


I won't lie, I'm tempted to think that he's actually the catfish and that this would end up being a really good story, but I don't care enough to find out. Assuming that he's real, I'm not what he's looking for (I don't want to settle down right away and I might want to move away from DC eventually) and he's not what I'm looking for (he owns a house in the moderately inconvenient suburbs). I told him as much and wished him luck elsewhere.

Nancy, What the Fuck Are You Talking About Please

This one is long and weird enough that it deserves its own section. I got this message last week:


That was just absurd enough to be awesome. The guy is a tall redhead and he loves Tamora Pierce, so even though some of his profile was iffy to me—I think he wants someone he can smoke pot with, which is 100% not me—I messaged him back. And then:

The references there are to Tamora Pierce books, so if you're not familiar with those books, know that not all of this is gibberish. Most of it is, though. Realizing that this is apparently just how he talks, not something he was doing just for the first message, I stole a response from Korben and shut it down:


Since then, he has changed his username to (something like) fully-clothed-pictures. Just so you have a complete image of how weird this whole thing is.

The Rest

Why do I hate it so much when guys say that they're "laid-back" or "easygoing"? I've been known to physically cringe at that.


I also have no patience for this:

I got a pretty good first message from guy who's totally my type physically. His profile seemed decent, nothing exciting, and then:


Never mind, then.

Does that work on anyone? I have trouble believing that it does.


I'm wearing hats in several of my pictures, which I assume is what that refers to? Not sure how that was supposed to start a conversation, though.

This was a nice week for nonsense. I'll be back next week, but until then, believe in your dreams and don't let them get you down. Namean?