This week, I need advice about ghosting and nicknames.

Lord Byron

Sorry, Team Byron, but I think he may be ghosting on me. After our second date, he started texting every day, even if it was just for a little bit. That kept up on Sunday and Monday after I last saw him. On Tuesday, I didn't hear anything from him—though I didn't realize it until after the fact, for reasons that will soon become clear—and got a text early Wednesday but nothing when I responded. I texted him on Thursday basically saying "Hey, my week has been crazy, how've you been?" and haven't heard anything since then.

It's obviously possible that he's just been busy/distracted/dealing with some personal thing that came up, but I find it a little suspicious that a guy who'd been pretty diligent about daily communication for two weeks would suddenly just go silent. If he's not interested anymore, it's not like I'll be heartbroken—I've never really thought we'd be anything more than casual—but it'd be nice to know if it's worth continuing to devote brain space to him.

Would it be too blunt to text saying "Have you been especially busy this week, or are you trying to ghost on me?" Maybe with an emoji?

The Brit

Still around. We haven't been talking much this week because he has some big exams coming up in April and he's trying to study for them, and work has been busy for him. Plus I've just been kind of lazy all week, so I haven't been responding to his messages very quickly either.


But we've still been sending messages, and we've IM-ed a little bit here and there. Your Brit quote of the week, from when we Skyped last week:

I'm folding laundry while we talk. The Brit expresses shock at how long it's been since I last folded my laundry.

Me: "Did I ask for your opinion?"

Him: "No, but I'm going to give it to you anyway because I'm a white male. That's what we do. It's basically our job."


Date #9

You may recall that Date #9 was supposed to happen almost two weeks ago. We had planned on going ice skating, but then the rink was a closed and I wasn't feeling great, so we decided to postpone.

I'd said I could maybe do this past Tuesday and would let him know what work was looking like. I ended up being free, texted him saying as much, and immediately started freaking out. I've always been pretty adamant that my first dates be coffee, because they're cheap and low-pressure and if the guy is horrible, it's easy to escape quickly. But Tuesday evening basically means dinner or drinks—and I don't like the idea of drinking on a first date, so it would have to be dinner. With a guy I'd exchanged barely any messages with.


But I wasn't about to back out again, so dinner it was. We walked around by the White House for 15 minutes or so while we waited for our table to be ready and talked a bit. The dinner ended up being fancier than either of us had expected, since he had only ever been up in the more casual part of the restaurant and didn't realize that they had another section of seating (where they put us), but it was still enjoyable. It was a nice night out, so after dinner we walked around the Mall a bit, slid down the Lincoln Memorial (like so), and then sat and talked a bit. While we were walking back toward the Metro, we kept bumping up against each other until he took my hand.

We sat on a park bench while I waited for my bus, and he said, "You don't have to answer, but this is one of my favorite questions to ask: What are you thinking about how you're feeling?" And I thought about it and finally said, "I'm thinking that I want you to kiss me." So he did.

The jury is out as to whether or not it was better than my first date with Sam, but either way, it ended up being in my top two first dates. It was just a really nice night with a great guy. He's smart and funny and interesting and kind and really good-looking.


I've been on a lot of dates where I couldn't decide whether or not to go out with the guy again, and this made me stop doubting myself about them. That's how a first date is supposed to go. I'm supposed to want to go out with him again, not just not not-want to go out with him.

Which is why I saw him again yesterday. We met up for lunch, then walked down to the Mall to hit up some museums. Neither one of us was really into it, though—he'd been up late at a friend's birthday and I'm just not an art person—so we ended up going back to his place. He didn't want to have sex (which I was fine with), but there was a lot of making out and a lot of cuddling and a good amount of talking, and it was just generally really enjoyable.

I don't think I've met anyone since Sam where I actually kept thinking about them when I wasn't with them. (Except for the Brit, but that's its own situation.) With both Lord Byron and the Piemaker, I was happy to see them again, and I liked spending time with them, but I was totally unconcerned about not seeing them for two weeks at a time (or not at all). But I actually want to see this guy again, and soon.


Also, I need a nickname for him, since (assuming I do see him again), I can't keep referring to him as "this guy." Unless I nickname him ThisGuy. His username is something like ACleverName, which… meh. I could give him a real name nickname, but that's not much fun. Potential names based on his interests include Hemingway (also a favorite of Lord Byron's, weirdly), Camus or Nietzsche, or Telecom. (Not actually an interest of his, but he works in that field, sort of, and it's a fun word.) I'm open to further suggestions.

The Rest

I've been pretty inactive this week, so I've gotten very few messages. I was viewed by this guy, though.


As PandaPartyPants pointed out on Twitter, he did say please. And they say chivalry is dead.

See you next week, folks.