It’s been a while since my last update, and unfortunately for those of you who are overinvested in my love life or lack thereof, it’s going to be a few days before the next one. Since I’m starting a new job tomorrow, I’ll be more able to internet at work soon, so I figure I’ll start doing them during the week instead of on the weekend when GT is a lot slower. To tide you over, I’m going to do something a little different.

I currently have 274 messages, which means that I’m approaching the 300-message limit that exist if you don’t pay for an A-List account. I thought it would be interesting to look through and see what those messages consist of before I go through and start deleting.

First off, 22 of those messages aren’t real messages at all. When you and another user both like each other, OKC sends you both a message letting you know, like so:

Annoyingly, these non-messages still count toward my total messages. Exlcuding those, I have messages to/from 250 guys. (Two of whom sent me messages from two different accounts, but I counted them only once in the following breakdown.) There were a few generic ones that I deleted right when I first joined, but no more than a handful.


Of those 250 messages, 97 have been generic messages, ranging from a simple “Hey” to longer messages detailing all the reasons this particular guy is awesome and I should date him. I left 87 without a response; I sent a snarky response to the remaining 10.

146 guys—58 percent—have sent me personalized messages. That’s a pretty broad category, though, including everything from “So glad to find another Pratchett fan on this site. He’s one of my favorite authors.” to the 321-word message (a small essay, really) I got this morning.

About half of those (76) went unanswered. I sent a quick response to 26 guys thanking them for the message and saying that I didn’t think they were quite what I was looking for, but best of luck to them. I sent a snarky/insincere response to 10. The remaining 34 messages led to at least a brief conversation (ie, the person who received the message sent at least one response to the sender, and that response wasn’t a rejection).


In 16 conversations, I either told the guy I wasn’t interested or stopped responding. In 10, the guy said he wasn’t interested, stopped responding, or deactivated his account. Out of the rest, 13 conversations led to a date, one conversation is still in progress, and one is the Brit.

There were also seven conversations I initiated: One where I stopped responding, four where the guy did so, and two that led to dates (the Piemaker and Date #13, whom you haven’t met yet). That makes a total of 41 conversations.

Some more interesting findings: 12 guys suggested in their introductory message that we meet up/go out. 48 introduced themselves by name in the first message. 13 sent nothing but a greeting (hi/hello/hey there), without even a “how are you?” to spur a conversation. At least eight were over the age of 30; there were probably more who either a) I didn’t notice as I was going through or b) have since deactivated their accounts, so their personal details are no longer listed.


Three of the 13 guys I’ve gone out with have deactivated their accounts: the Piemaker, Lord Byron, and #9. I find it interesting that these are all guys I actually went on multiple dates with/was moderately interested in, but I’m not sure if there’s actually any significance there. It does make me think that maybe #9’s “just decided I’m not looking for anything currently” line wasn’t complete bullshit after all, which I appreciate.

Finally, here’s when I sent/received my messages. Obviously May isn’t quite over yet, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it overtakes April.


Admittedly, I may be the only person who finds all of this particularly interesting, but I think it’s neat to see it all broken down like this.