I have a question. The prevailing mythology about OkCupid seems to be that women get bombarded with messages (mostly inappropriate) while well-intentioned men have to contend with radio silence from their potential matches. I've had a rather, er, different experience. I'm a woman and I seem to be having very little luck in getting any responses from the men I contact. Literally 90% have never responded. Is this normal? Or I am just doing it all wrong?

I only message men with whom I have a high match percentage and at least several things in common. I send nice, normal, genuine messages (typical format goes: introduce myself, comment on something in their profile that I found intriguing or we have in common, end with open-ended question). I tend to message guys who "reply often," although not all the time. But when you realize that the blogger from Crazy, Cupid Love's batshit insane Zizek parody account is getting way more messages than you, you start to wonder what the hell is going on.

I've heard the average response rate for women is around 40% and that you have more luck if you take initiative. That has definitely not been my experience. Have any other lady-daters out there experienced this, too? I feel like I am having unusually bad luck here.