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Omg FedEx you suck

When I left to pick TeenSparrow up from school Wednesday I found a FedEx door tag on my front door even though I’d been home all day. A person has to be exceptionally sneaky to creep up on our front door without the dogs noticing, and they hadn’t made a peep so I don’t know what kind of ninjas they have working there. I wasn’t expecting any packages but it was my birthday so I thought someone must have sent me a present and figured oh well, I’ll get it tomorrow. Strangely though, all of the information fields on the door tag were x-ed over with just the date at the top and “front door” checked at the bottom. Whatever, driver must have been in a hurry. I was home again all day Thursday and yesterday. No delivery, no more door tags. ? I went to their site this morning and entered the door tag number into their tracker, but the system couldn't find it. I tried their virtual chat support but it just talked in useless circles. I called the hotline where the automated voice made me tell it the tag number four times while it fruitlessly searched before transferring me to the mumbling, muffled, HEAVILY-accented operator who had me repeat the tag number another three times while HE fruitlessly searched. Not only is this door tag number not attached to any delivery in their system, there are no deliveries scheduled to our address at all. So apparently some super-stealth FedEx driver slunk up to my door and left a tag for no damn reason.

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