How much will I hate myself if I DIY a juice cleanse?

No, I don't actually give a shit about 'clearing my body of toxins' or 'reaching a state of nirvana' (explanation to come!) but I do want to start losing a few pounds.

After surgery, I've gained some weight, and due to inability to exercise (though I'm ramping it up and no longer suffer from days of pain after doing light weights! hooray!) and general 'your body is in intense healing mode please eat all the things' level food consumption, I haven't yet been able to get it off. It's all in my midsection. Everywhere else? Pretty darn happy with my bodayyyy.

This is, needless to say, very frustrating. I'm going on a small vacation with His Majesty in April, and while I plan to eat healthily and exercise in the few weeks leading up to that, I'd like to jump start that with drastic measures.

But I also actively really like green juice, and juice in general. It seems, therefore, pretty natural that I give this a shot. I've got a coworker/friend who did one recently, and she really liked it. She only did it for 3 days, which is what I'd limit myself to, but she seemed to be happy with the results. We did have a great time reading the pamphlet about reaching Nirvana through excessive use of exclamation points though. Boy howdy do I love the die-hard hippies who are all about toxins and raw living and such.


I also don't want to pay a bajillion dollars, especially since I already have a juicer. Do I do it myself? Do I suck it up and pay? Do I spend hours on a Sunday afternoon juicing vegetables, hate myself, and eat cheese instead? There are DIY recipes that basically follow the Blue Print whatever that they sell at Whole Foods so it wouldn't be hard to gather the ingredients and do it for a couple days, other than the time consumingness of actual juicing. But, you know, cheese.

I know some of you have done this before, PLZ TO HALP.