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On dating and other things.

So, I started seeing this guy. He's neat. Not my usual type insofar as he leans more towards sci-fi nerdy than hipster (I'm speaking in meaningless stereotypes in an effort to be succinct). He is a Darth Vader ring wearing, ear gauged, punk music listening kind of guy, whereas I am more of an indie folk/rock music, fabric arts, independent film watching kind of gal. But he's neat, and he's smart, and he's handsome, and he's really fun to spend time with. The dates we've had so far have been wonderful. He's a great cuddler and he's super fun to talk to.

.....and he's also hella flaky. I think. Probably. He works at a bar, so his schedule is the opposite of mine, and I've tried to be pretty accommodating (I used to do a lot of shift work, I get that it can be complicated as far as relationships of any kind are concerned).

It's been about two months and we've gone on five dates, mostly due to scheduling issues (we've both been out of the city for huge chunks of time over this period) but he's gone from super-attentive-texty-guy* to "updates his Facebook status and loads something onto instagram before replying to my text the next day guy." (Just typing that makes me feel like an insecure teenager. I kind of miss having long term relationships with dudes who eschewed social media, because I don't know what to make of any of it).


*In the first two weeks it was a lot of "I really like you," "I can't wait to see you," "I find you impossibly attractive," "you're so smart, I talk to you like I want to talk to myself..."

Guys. It's kind of crazy-making. When he's on, he's super on. Otherwise it's kind of a conversational shut down.

Me: "Oh my, that does sound like a late night. I hope this evening lets you get home sooner than six am! Important follow up re: pulling me in close [in reference to a previous day's flirty text message], what's your schedule like this week? Any thoughts on when we can flirt in real-time?"

(the next day): "It did, I closed super early and was home by midnight, asleep by midnight oh five. My schedule. This week is atrocious. I don't believe I have a scheduled day off yet."


....feels like kind of a conversational shut down, but I don't know how much I'm reading into it.

I gave up on online dating over a year ago for reasons that anyone who is posting or reading OkC posts would understand, and it was so exciting to have someone meet me and want to date right away. But this feels weird.


What would you do, GT? This happened two weeks ago (he kind of went missing for a bit, then resurfaced to ask when I was free, saying he'd love to see me....I said I was pleasantly surprised because I thought he was gradual-fading me. He said his work schedule was interfering.)....at this point I can't tell how much of it is a scheduling issue and how much of it is him being kind of a flake. WHAT TO DO.

I have lined up a potential rendezvous with a handsome musician friend who will be in town next month, and someone else asked me out for drinks (I don't know if it's datey or not, but fuck it).


Tell me your thoughts.

I have more important things to vent about here, probably (the thesis I keep putting off, the PhD I'm waitlisted for that I'm ambivalent about) but right now this seems hella important because....because. Sometimes it's easier to focus on the stuff that is ultimately of little consequence but feels kind of big because you're twitterpated. :P


Apologies for the jumbled writing tonight. Jet lagged and hopped up on cold-and-flu meds. LIKE A BOSS.

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