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Welcome To The Bitchery

I've talked about stuff like this before but I think it's always good to learn more.

Lots of PWDs are sensitive to pet names. It's something we grew up hearing all the time. We are often everyone's buddy, or sweetie. People don't mean to bother us, but it often does. It implies that we are children or need your assurance. I get called some sort of term almost every time I go out. Such as:

-When I need somebody to hand me something at the grocery store

-When somebody (nicely!) opens a door for me

-When I'm just existing. ("Hey sweetie! You look beautiful today.") Now on this one I should be clear. These interactions are usually with acquaintances or people who have just seen me around. I get this from the cleaning ladies in my dorm or from people in a doctor's office. They know my face, so they use pet names.


-When I ask for somebody to get my size when I'm shopping

It really upsets me, but I don't really have time to sit down with everyone who ever says this shit. I'd never get things done. It's hard to manage because nobody is trying to hurt you. People think they're helping you feel good. Many times I've explained this to people and they'll tell me I'm a touchy person.


Well you're fucking right I am.

Pet names are for those who are close to me. I have a friend who calls me hon or babe, ALL THE TIME. But because we are very intimate friends, it doesn't bug me. It's important to keep things in mind. Would you speak this way to an able-bodied person who couldn't reach the tomatoes? No. So don't do it to me.


This has happened to me on GT as well. But I want to VERY VERY CLEAR. I am not mad at anyone. I just want to stress them it's something people can learn not to do. I know (most) of you see me as a grown adult woman. Socialization is hard to reverse. I'm not saying in every context it's bad. But please be mindful.

I enjoy talking about these things and I hope you guys feel like I'm teaching you something. Remember, I only speak for myself.

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