My fiance, a 30 year-old man, made the rookie mistake of drinking without eating dinner. He got home after I'd already gone to bed, completely wasted. He said, "if you were a unicorn, you would live forever." Then he cried because he thinks I am mad at him because he isn't a unicorn. Is this his subconscious speaking in metaphors?
I have spent the last hour and a half trying to feed him, then subsequently cleaning up his vomit. Fucking love, man.
(He has never been this drunk since I have known him. He went out after work with the friend who, when my fiance asked which of his friends was most likely to be a killer, I identified as the most likely murderer because he has low morals and is self-interested.)