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On farting in front of one's beau

I am usually quite an unabashed person. General young person insecurities aside, I am very comfortable with my body. Mr Reynard and I have been together for about a year and a half, and I don't care about him seeing me with dirty hair, or spots, or when I've gone one too many days without showering. I will freely burp in front of him. He has seen me with whooping cough, and he has seen my throw up three whiskey cocktails. I'm cool with all of that. I have no issue with any and all things to do with my body. Except farting.

I cannot bring myself to fart in front of my boyfriend.

I know this is ridiculous. I know that he doesn't care, and that he isn't going to suddenly find me utterly grotesque, or leave me for some magical fairy-princess-angel-nymph with no bodily functions. I know that this is just a little tiny bit of the patriarchy that has filtered down, and is now making me hold in my farts, and end up feeling all bloated, for no real reason at all. Society has deemed that bodily functions are gross, and that women aren't allowed to be gross, and it's all part of the same system that says that women aren't even really supposed to be real people with needs at all. I know all of this, and yet I still can't get past the hangup that I have, the feeling that to fart would be unladylike, and to be unladylike is to be unattractive. I find it so infuriating because I know that it's all bollocks, but I just can't bring myself to do it.


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